do you believe in ghosts?

everyone's heard or read of ghosts, and some even claim to have seen them. me? i don't really believe in supernatural hocus pocus like haunted houses, poltergeists, exorcists, visions, sightings, encounters, demons, spirits, blablabla. to prove that i'm no blind skeptic, i hereby boldly present my theory on the age-old paranormal enigma of the undead.

to start off, i'll try to enlighten the uninformed readers on basic human biology. our body generates electric charges that commute at approximately 360km/h throughout our body, the highway of which would be the spinal column. these electric charges ride in cars called nerves - the messengers that transport the electric charges, or signals, between our brain and the rest of our body. these signals, for example, tell us that the milk is bad, or that our foot should be lifted when we approach a pile of shit, or that mum is waking you up with a cane, and that you'd better move your ass before she whoops it. well, you get the picture.

you read and impatiently wonder: what the heck has electric charges gotta do with ghosts? calm down, we're just getting started. my hypothesis is, quite basically, that ghosts are merely fragments of memory. to illustrate my case, i want to mention that cemeteries are one of the most commonly known 'haunted' areas. my explanation for this is simple: because when the final rites are performed, almost everybody who gathers around the sepulchre engages in deep remembrance of the dearly departed, and solemn emotions are invoked in unison, thus creating a metaphorical stormcloud. i believe that this stormcloud of memories transcends the mental state and into a metaphysical state, generating a vessel that manifests an electromagnetic field over the burial ground. this vessel remains even as the funeral is cleared, and remain there for an indefinite period of time.

now picture this: one fine day, perhaps N decades after the aforementioned interment, a person walks through the cemetery as the hairs on his arms stand on end, and chills run down his spine, then he sees a headless man, thus freaking out and dashing off in double-quick time. any average person would think he'd seen a ghost, but i differ in opinion. i would say that his body has made contact with the electromagnetic vessel of memories that was manufactured N decades ago. he experienced a disruption in his internal nervous system, thus causing his hair to stand, his nerves to wriggle aggresively through his spinal column, and his senses to manifest a vision of a man. the figure in the vision could have been headless either due to the disintegration of the stored memories that involved the head, or because of a flawed connection between the two sets of electric charges. simply put, the man did not actually see anything, but his brain made him think that he'd seen a man that died N decades ago because the stormcloud of memories intervened with his senses.

this theory also aptly applies in the context of so-called 'demonic possession', when people speak languages they couldn't possibly have learnt of, and excrete liquid and solid waste in seemingly blasphemous manners. essentially, the electric charges would have interfered with the motor functions of the human body, as well as experienced an input of memory blocks containing foreign conversations, evoking those abnormal behaviours in the 'possessed' individuals. the susceptibility of individuals also vary, since such paranormal activities do not usually affect whole groups of people, but rather have differing experiences from person to person.

poltergeist activities are relatively more far-fetched, as far as the explanation goes, but my basis is that electromagnetic fields tend to imposingly distort and manipulate the laws of physics, resulting in the often-heard flying pot and bent spoon.

to a certain extent, my assumptions are justified and reasonable, though many people might think: what about the infamous 360-degree revolving heads, spiderwalking down staircases, and other melodramatic portrayals of ghosts and spectres and phantoms? all i have to say is, hollywood doesn't produce blockbusters by practising honesty and sticking strictly to facts.

what you see may not always be what you get. fear is the strongest fuel in the universe, and imajination is its spark.